Another Bottle Down
by FuckTheReaper
Summary: Beck opens up to his idol about his dark past, and the one person who shone light into it when all hope seemed lost. Inspired by the song "Skeletons" by The Amity Affliction.


**Wey-hey! Here we go again. Round two. Second one-shot in as many days. I was so grateful for all of the reviews 'Homemade Love Videos' recieved, so as my way of saying thank you, I've done something a little different for this one. The only characters I ever use as my mains, as you guys know, are Tori and Jade. So, this time, I've changed that. I've wanted to write a Beck/alcohol abuse story for a long time, but never knew how to write it. Finally, after listening to an amazing song by an amazing band, I had a flash of inspiration. And this was the result. There's also a surprise appearance from someone you may never have expected. Read on to find out ;)**

 **This one-shot is inspired by the song Skeletons by The Amity Affliction (*whispers* best band everrrr), and I'm extremely pleased with the way this one turned out. Yay!**

 **While writing this, I also felt the need to dedicate this one to the memory of my late grandfather (on my stepdad's side), who passed away in May this year after a long battle with cancer. Pa, I love you, and I hope you're proud of this one.**

 **Here we go guys.**

* * *

"We're joined now by the gorgeous Mr Beck Oliver, whose autobiography 'Another Bottle Down' hits shelves next week. Beck, welcome to the show."

Beck straightened his tie and adjusted himself in his armchair. "Thank you Ellen, it's a pleasure to be here," he smiled, shaking the woman's hand. It was a miracle he could even _speak_. He was in the presence of Ellen DeGeneres, _the_ Ellen DeGeneres, his favourite talk-show host _and_ comedian. When she had asked him to come onto her show to speak about the book, he had politely accepted, and then spent the rest of the day dancing around his house like a crazed fangirl. Or rather, fan _boy_ in his case. Now, here he was, _on the show_ , and the blonde woman was looking at him a little strangely. Wait, _why_ was she looking at him strangely?

"Beck? You in there Beck?" she asked, waving a hand in the man's face, an amused smile forming on her face.

"Huh?" was all he could manage to say, earning a few laughs from the audience. He blinked several times, trying to remember what was happening. "I'm sorry," he said, looking first at the crowd, and then back to Ellen, "I'm a little starstruck." This earned more laughs from the audience, as well as a pat on the knee from the blonde comedian.

"It's alright honey, we've all been there." She smiled at him, and suddenly all of his nerves went away. That was one of the things he loved about the woman. She always had the right words to say, at the exact right moment. And she was so level-headed. A true professional.

"It's funny, I have fans come up to me all the time, and they cry or have anxiety attacks; some of them even _faint_ , none of which is funny at all, but it always confused me, because I didn't understand how one person could have such an impact like that on someone," Beck explained, clasping his hands together in his lap. "And then I come onto this show, the show I've always dreamed of being on, because you're just such an inspiration to me and I absolutely love you, and suddenly I can understand why some of these people react the way they do around me, or _any_ celebrity for that matter." He smiled, before continuing. "These people, these fans, a lot of them feel so alone, and they feel like they have nothing left in this world, for whatever reasons, and they try to find something to hold onto, something to focus on and put all of their time and love into, something to keep them from falling apart completely, and nine times out of ten, that thing is us. We "celebrities" become such a huge aspect of their lives; they spend all of their time following us on social media, keeping up with the latest news on us, supporting us through everything that we do, even _promoting_ our work to those who may not have heard of us. They put their heart and soul into keeping our dreams alive. _Their_ dream is to see us succeed. It's so humbling, it really is. And then when they finally get a chance to meet us, or we respond to them in some way, whether it's a tweet back on twitter, or a follow or whatever it may be, they react in such a huge way because it means so much to them. We are literally the only thing keeping them alive, as many fans have told me in the past, and it's something that I take very seriously." He paused to wipe a tear from his eye. "Which is why I try my absolute hardest to try and stop to say hello when I can, or take photos with them or sign something, or respond to them on social media. It's all they want, and I don't think it's too much to ask really. And bringing it back to the whole starstruck thing, with me meeting you; it's maybe not to the same extent as some of these other fans, but you've definitely made a huge impact in my life, so yeah, I kinda froze." Ellen nodded, taking in every word the man spoke.

"I completely understand," she smiled, handing Beck a tissue. He hadn't realised that he'd shed more tears, and quickly wiped them away, embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, it just gets to me sometimes you know?" he said softly, crumpling the tissue between his hands. "But you've gotta look on the bright side I guess. They go through hell all their lives, feeling like nobody cares, and then when they come up to me and say that I'm the only reason they're still alive today, I hug the crap out of them and tell them how proud I am that they've continued to fight through the pain; how happy I am that they're still alive today, and I tell them to keep on fighting, because I love them and I believe in them." There was a collective "aww" from the audience. Beck smiled. "Nothing I say to them is a lie. I genuinely mean everything that I say to these kids, because I know what it's like. I've been there, and no one should ever have to feel that way about themselves. It's messed up."

"It is," Ellen agreed, "it really is. And that's something that you talk a lot about in your book, isn't it?" She asked, bringing everyone back to the main point of today's discussion. Beck nodded.

"It is, definitely," he answered. "That feeling of hopelessness and despair, and the constant pain that so many people feel on a daily basis, especially in the instance of losing a loved one, as was my case. And then of course we all find our own ways to _deal_ with that pain, and as many peole know, for me, it was alcohol."

"Could you talk to us a little more about that?" Ellen asked, leaning forward in her chair. She looked at Beck apologetically. "I know it must be hard for you to talk about this, I'm sorry."

Beck gave the woman a gentle smile. "No, it's okay really, it's a lot easier to talk about now, especially since I know I can help others by sharing my story," he explained, running a hand through his shoulder-length hair. "It started when my father passed away from cancer when I was twenty two. By then, I'd starred in a couple of films, so people knew who I was; so of course then it made the news, and _everyone_ knew about it. Which I guess bothered me a little, but it didn't phase me too much. When people started making _jokes_ about it, however, that's when things turned _really_ bad for me." He looked down at his feet, feeling guilty for what he was saying. "I got completely wasted, and then started abusing all of these idiots on social media for talking trash about my dad." He gave a bitter laugh. "I thought I was so cool, standing up for my old man like that. And I felt _so good_ , the alcohol made the pain go away. So I drank, every day, from the moment I woke up til the moment I passed out at night. I didn't care, as long as it would just stop effing hurting." He took a deep breath to calm himself. "Eventually, it got to a point where instead of showing up on set late and drunk, I just didn't show up at all. I avoided phone calls and texts, I broke up with my then-girlfriend, Jade, and basically just spent my days drinking and partying. This went on for well over a year, until one day, I woke up, and I thought, "screw this", and instead of reaching for the bottle I had by my bed, I reached for my phone and sent my best friend, the one and only Tori Vega, a text." Beck closed his eyes, trying to fight back the tears that were threatening to spill from them. "I sent one word: goodbye, and then I went and bought a gun." Hearing his idol gasp, Beck opened his eyes, the tears falling freely now. Ellen had one hand clasped over her mouth, and her eyes were filling with tears.

"I couldn't stop myself," Beck whispered, frantically wiping his eyes with shaking hands. "The alcohol wasn't enough anymore. I needed a more permanent solution. So once I'd bought the gun... once I... I went home, and when I got inside, Tori's older sister, Trina, was there. Tori was out of the country, recording an album, and, as one would expect, was freaking out. Treen later told me that Tori had called her, begging her to go and check on me. The first thing that Trina said, when she saw me walk into the house was "You're gonna kill yourself aren't you?"" Beck looked up at Ellen, who was also crying. In fact, several of the audience members were too. He'd made them cry. He'd made his idol cry. He felt terrible. But he knew he had to continue telling his story. Not only for Ellen and his fans, but also for the woman and child who were waiting at home for him to return to them.

He took another deep breath, and continued. "When I told her that yes, that's exactly what I was going to do, you know what she did? I remember it clear as day. She looked me dead in the eyes and said "well, if you're gonna do it, then they better make room in that grave for me, Tori, your family, friends, and all of your fans around the world, because not a single one of us is going on in this world without you."" Beck shook his head, almost in amusement, remembering that day. "And then she said, "this is not the ending your father would have wished for you" and that's when everything hit me. It all came flooding back. I'd been drunk for so long that I almost couldn't feel the pain of his loss anymore. But when Trina spoke those words, it felt like a kick in the balls to be honest. I realised how selfish and stupid I'd been. I'd let him down so bad. I remember breaking down in front of her and just crying like a baby, for hours, and she just held me the whole time, telling me that everything would be okay. From that moment on, she was by my side every single moment she could be, helping me through the healing process, taking me to AA meetings, making sure I stayed sober." He met Ellen's eyes again, a feeling of pride welling up within him. "And I did. I'm two years sober next week, on the release day of the book actually."

The blonde woman said nothing, simply stood up, walked over to the man, and pulled him into a hug, squeezing him tightly. The audience erupted into cheers and applause.

"I'm so proud of you," Ellen said, her voice breaking. "I'm so, so proud of you."

"Thanks Ellen," Beck whispered, wrapping his arms tightly around the woman. "Thank you for giving me the courage to speak up."

When they finally broke the hug, Ellen returned to her seat and said to the audience, "now wouldn't that make one hell of a film?" This of course made everyone in the room laugh, and Ellen smiled, glad to have lightened the mood a little. She turned back to face the young actor, who had ( _thankfully_ , he thought to himself) finally stopped crying, and said "now on a more lighter note, coming forward to now, things are going pretty well for you aren't they? I mean, you've got your book coming out next week, which is fantastic. You're working on a film as well, which looks very promising. You're married now aren't you?"

"I'm actually getting married in two months' time," Beck affirmed, all smiles again. "Trina and I have finally decided to tie the knot, much to the shock of everyone, considering we didn't get along very well in high school." He laughed. "Well actually, we got along fine, I just didn't like her." This got everyone laughing. "Don't get me wrong, she was nice enough, but she was just very... _persistent_ , to say the least. And since I had a girlfriend back then, I just wasn't into her at all. But hey, her persistence paid off coz now she's got me." He laughed again. "But seriously, she's good to me. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be alive today. I just hope she knows how grateful I am for that."

"Well you must have shown her quite a lot of "gratitude", because now you have a child together too don't you?" Ellen asked, a small smirk playing on her lips. Beck burst into laughter.

"Oh dear God, let's not talk about my sex life, Treen would kill me," he chuckled. "But yes, we do have a kid together, a little boy, Hunter, who's eight months old. He's the cutest little thing. He pulls my hair."

"It sounds like things have really picked up for you Beck," Ellen said cheerfully, resting her hands on her knees.

"Yeah, things are so much better. And I'm so glad the book can finally see the light of day. I wrote it, mainly for the fans, who are struggling. I'm hoping that by sharing my story, that I can show others that there _is_ a light, no matter how dark things seems to get. I mean, even on the darkest, stormiest, coldest winter night, the sun will still rise."

"That's so true," Ellen agreed. Looking at the camera, she said, "Beck's autobiography, 'Another Bottle Down', hits shelves next Wednesday. Make sure to pick yourselves up a copy. Beck, thank you again for coming in today to talk to us about your experience. I know it was difficult for you, but you did it. And congratulations on your two years' sobriety!"

"Thanks Ellen, it was great being here," Beck answered, grinning at her as he shook her hand for the second time today, and then made his way to the edge of the stage to go home.

* * *

"Treen, Hunter, I'm home," Beck called out, taking off his jacket and loosening his tie. He walked into the kitchen, finding it empty.

"Trina?" he tried again, walking to the living room. No one there either. Huh. He made his way upstairs, into the bedroom.

"Trina, I-"

There they were. Trina was laying on the bed, fast asleep, her long brown hair spread out across her pillow. Her mouth was hanging open slightly, and she looked at peace. Beck smiled. She always looked the most beautiful when she was sleeping. Pity for her, because she was never able to see herself. Luckily for her, he always took a photo to show her the following morning, just because he was a dork like that. It was also his own unique way of reminding himself to stay sober. For every day that he didn't drink, he would take a photo of Trina, and Hunter, and store it on his phone, in a folder titled 'better than booze'. He now had a total of 1846 pictures in that folder, half each of his soon-to-be wife, and half of his little clone, who currently lay in his mother's arms, in almost the exact same pose as the brunette. His dark locks covered his eyes, and he was breathing softly. Still watching them, Beck quickly changed into his pyjamas and climbed into bed beside them, wrapping his arms tightly around Trina. She stirred slightly in her sleep.

"I missed you," she mumbled sleepily. Beck placed a loving kiss on the side of her head.

"I missed you too," he whispered, resting his head on her shoulder. He reached one of his hands out and took one of Hunter's tiny ones in his own, holding it. Trina fell back to sleep, and Beck closed his own eyes, sleep beginning to take hold of him. He thought back on everything that had led him up to this moment in his life. All of the hell he had put himself through, all of the times he thought he was going to relapse, and drink himself to death. Sure, there were still voices in his head, telling him to take another drink. "It's just another bottle down," they would try to tell him, but as always, Trina would be there to catch him before he fell, reminding him to stay strong, to keep on going. And, of course, he had his visual reminders, both photographic, and in person. He would be okay. He always would be. For as long as Trina and Hunter were a part of his life, as well as his friends, family, and of course his ever-loyal fans, nothing could defeat him.

In the words of his one true love, death would never bring him down.

And he would die fighting.

* * *

 **There we have it! Surprised? I know I was :p**

 **I tried to give Ellen as much of a role as possible, but I also tried not to have her say too much, because I didn't want to make up any details about her that aren't true. I didn't want to breach any kind of laws or rules or anything like that, if that makes sense, but I did try to make her as much like she is in real life (if that makes any sense at all either).**

 **Anyway, hope you guys enjoyed this, and as always, please leave reviews! Love you guys.**


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